Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
