somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
