He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the day after is always just damage control
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
