We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
