worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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