I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
