dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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