We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
