why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You pole danced in your parka.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
