I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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