can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
