got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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