She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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