i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
