remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
