they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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