Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
