I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
