we have officially lost it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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