I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
