i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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