my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
