I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
