In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
