I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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