her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
