There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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