Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
