i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
