You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
