We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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