I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
