I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
