Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
These tits shall not be calmed
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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