The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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