My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
