My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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