I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
