thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
