Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
