best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
