He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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