She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
