Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
