im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
