He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
