I need help removing her.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
