What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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