Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
