Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
