A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
