Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
