Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
